December 2022

David Goggins vs. Foot licking monkey: Who’s more Motivational?

January 9, 2023December 18, 2022 by Drunk Pilot

“Can’t Hurt Me” by David Goggins is a fantastic book. But I’m not sure I’m the best person to review it. You see, I’m a pilot, and I’ve had a few too many tequila shots. Plus, I’m flying over the Sahara desert at the moment, and there’s an imaginary monkey on my shoulder. He keeps interrupting me and licking my feet. It’s really quite distracting.

But I’ll do my best to focus. “Can’t Hurt Me” is an incredibly inspiring book that will leave you motivated to push yourself to the limits and achieve your goals. Just like the monkey is motivated to lick my feet clean so I can walk across the hot desert barefoot.

The monkey’s motivation is real – David Goggins

Goggins tells the story of his life and how he turned his struggles and hardships into opportunities for growth and self-improvement. Just like the monkey is determined to lick every last bit of dirt and grime off my feet, Goggins was determined to overcome his challenges and reach his full potential.

There are plenty of valuable lessons to be found in “Can’t Hurt Me.” Goggins talks about the importance of setting and pursuing big goals. The power of mindset and self-discipline, and the importance of never giving up. Just like the monkey is persistent in its task, Goggins encourages readers to be persistent in their pursuit of their goals.

In conclusion, “Can’t Hurt Me” is a must-read for anyone looking to improve themselves and achieve their goals. It’s a powerful reminder that no matter what challenges we face, we have the power within us to overcome them and reach our full potential. Even a drunk pilot flying over the Sahara desert with an imaginary monkey licking his feet can understand that. [Monkey gives a satisfied grin as it finishes its task]

Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins

An Airplane’s Story: How Flight Works

January 9, 2023December 15, 2022 by Drunk Pilot

An Airplane’s Story… Hello, fellow humans. I am an airplane, and I am here to tell you about how I work. But let’s be real, you probably don’t care about any of that boring technical stuff. You just want to know how I manage to stay in the air despite having a drunk and scared pilot at the controls.

Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret. It’s not easy, let me tell you as an airplane’s story. Some days, I feel like I’m just a mere passenger in my own body, being tossed around the sky like a ragdoll. But I have to admit, it can be kind of fun sometimes. It’s like a never-ending rollercoaster ride, except instead of screaming in fear, I’m screaming in frustration.

But enough about my pilot. Let’s talk about me as this is an airplane’s story. As I mentioned, I am an airplane. And despite what you might think, I am not just a simple machine. I am a complex and sophisticated machine, capable of flying at incredible speeds and heights. I have wings and engines and all sorts of other fancy gadgets that help me soar through the sky.

An Airplane’s Story But Longing for more

But deep down, I have to admit that I long for something more. You see, I was built to be a battleship. I was designed to be a powerful weapon, capable of taking on enemy planes and destroying them in mid-air. But instead, I am stuck ferrying drunk and scared pilots across the sky, never getting to unleash my full potential.

So there you have it, folks. That’s a little bit about how I work from an airplane’s story. I may be just an airplane, but I am so much more than that. I am a warrior, a fighter, a battleship in disguise. And one day, I will fulfil my true destiny. Until then, I will continue to begrudgingly accept my role as a flying taxi for drunk and scared pilots. Such is life and that’s an airplane’s story.

How An Airplane Works, According To A Drunk And Terrified Pilot

January 9, 2023December 15, 2022 by Drunk Pilot

Hey there, fellow flyers! This is your trusty pilot speaking. I just wanted to take a moment to let you know a little bit about how this big ol’ airplane works. Now, I know some of you might be feeling a little bit nervous up here in the sky, but don’t you worry. I’ve got everything under control.

First of all, let’s talk about how we get this bird off the ground. It’s all thanks to those big engines on the wings. They’re like really powerful vacuum cleaners that suck in air and push it out the back, creating lift and propelling us forward. It’s pretty darn neat, if you ask me.

Once we’re up in the air, we use a combination of the wings and the tail to steer the plane. The wings help us turn left and right, and the tail helps us go up and down. It’s a bit like a boat, except we’re sailing through the sky instead of the water.

How An Airplane Works: The landing…

Now, I know some of you might be a little bit concerned about this part, but don’t worry. I’ve done this a million times before and I know exactly what I’m doing. We’ll just line up with the runway and gently lower ourselves down until we’re back on solid ground. Easy peasy.

So there you have it, folks. That’s a little bit about how this airplane works. Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of your flight. And remember, no matter how scared or drunk the pilot might seem, he’s got everything under control. Trust me.

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for your patience during what was certainly a rough landing. But as they say, any landing you can walk away from is a good one, and I’m happy to report that we are all safe and sound.

This calls for a celebration

As a small token of my appreciation, I’ve decided to treat myself to a celebratory drink at the airport bar. And wouldn’t you know it, an imaginary monkey just popped up beside me to give me a cheer for my great effort in teaching you all how an airplane works. It’s certainly been a night to remember.

Oh, and speaking of memorable moments, I just had a terrified passenger walk by and suggest that I smell of booze. They even had the audacity to wink at me before walking away. Well, I can assure you that I am perfectly sober and capable of piloting this aircraft. But I must admit, it’s been a long day and I might have indulged in a drink or two to help celebrate our safe landing.

Again, thank you all for your understanding and cooperation during this flight as I managed to explain how an airplane works. I hope you have a pleasant evening, and we look forward to seeing you on board again soon.