30 Days Of Thinking About Pussy, And How It Changed My Life (Or Not)

Pussy – Photo by Andriyko Podilnyk on Unsplash

I thought about pussy 30 days in a row. Dry, wet, and fuzzy, all types of pussy crossed my mind. I couldn’t help it, I was obsessed. Initially, a break from my imaginary monkey friend was a blessing in disguise.

At first, it was just a passing curiosity. I’d see a cute pussy on social media and it would make me smile. But before I knew it, I was thinking about pussy all the time.

I’d wake up in the morning and the first thing on my mind would be “I wonder what my pussies are up to today?” I’d spend hours scrolling through pussy memes and watching pussy videos online. My friends and family thought I was crazy, but I couldn’t help it. I was a pussy person through and through.

As the days went by, my obsession only grew. I started wearing pussy-themed clothing and decorating my house with pussy paraphernalia. I even considered getting a tattoo of a pussy on my arm.

But as much as I loved pussy, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being ridiculous. I mean, how many days in a row can a person think about pussy before it becomes unhealthy?

Eventually, I decided to take a break from my pussy fixation and focus on other things. It wasn’t easy, but I managed to break the pussy-thinking habit. And you know what? It was actually kind of liberating.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still love pussy. But I’ve learned that it’s important to have balance in life and not get too obsessed with any one thing. So here’s to moving on from my 30-day pussy obsession and finding new things to think about.

30 Days Of Thinking About Pussy | Trump

Verbal Masturbation: The Art of Verbally Pleasuring Oneself

Verbal Masturbation
Verbal Masturbation – Photo by Braam Matthee on Unsplash

Are you tired of feeling unfulfilled and unaccomplished in your day-to-day life? Do you constantly seek ways to boost your self-esteem and make yourself feel good about yourself? Well, look no further, because we have the solution for you: verbal masturbation.

So, what the hell is verbal masturbation? It’s the ultimate self-love session: verbal masturbation. It’s the act of talking about yourself in a way that makes you feel like the goddamn king or queen of the world. Go ahead and indulge in a little self-aggrandising monologue – we all need a little ego boost from time to time. It’s self-gratification through words. Get it? It’s a way to stroke one’s own ego and feel good about oneself, without actually having to do any real work or accomplish anything meaningful.

And let’s be real, who doesn’t love a good ego boost? We all have those moments where we just need to feel a little bit special, and verbal masturbation is the perfect way to do that.

Verbal Masturbation: Give Someone A Good Ear-F*cking

But the benefits of verbal masturbation don’t stop there. It’s also a great way to impress others and make them think you’re more accomplished and impressive than you actually are. Just start talking about all the amazing things you’ve done and all the incredible places you’ve been. Before you know it, people will be hanging on your every word.

And let’s not forget about the social benefits of verbal masturbation. It’s a great way to make small talk and fill awkward silences in social situations. Just start talking about yourself and your accomplishments, and before you know it, you’ll have a whole group of people hanging on your every word.

So, let’s be real – we could all use a little verbal masturbation from time to time. Whether you’re feeling down on yourself or just craving an ego boost, this self-love session is the way to go. Just start talking about all your amazing accomplishments and watch the magic happen. And the best part? No actual work required. So go ahead and treat yourself to a little verbal self-gratification. Your ego (and everyone else) will thank you.

Verbal Masturbation: The Art of Verbally Pleasuring Oneself
Donald Trump & Andrew Tate

High Altitude Hydration: How I Stay Healthy While Flying

High Altitude Hydration
High Altitude Hydration

As a pilot who spends a lot of time flying at high altitudes, I’ve always prioritized staying hydrated while in the air. However, it wasn’t until I met my imaginary monkey friend that I truly began to understand the importance of high altitude hydration. In this article, I’ll share my journey towards better health while flying and offer tips on how to stay hydrated in the skies.

The Mythical Monkey & My Search for High Altitude Hydration

It all started one night when I had one too many drinks at the airport bar. Suddenly, a monkey appeared before me, smoking a cigarette and wearing a fedora. He introduced himself as my “Mythical Monkey” and claimed to know the secret to staying healthy at high altitudes. At first, I thought I was hallucinating, but he was too real and too wise to ignore.

Together, we embarked on a journey to discover the best ways to stay hydrated at high altitudes. We experimented with different types of water and electrolyte solutions, and even tried breathing exercises to increase oxygen intake. It wasn’t easy, but with my monkey friend by my side, I felt confident that we would find the solution.

Flying High: The Importance of Staying Hydrated in the Skies

As a pilot, I know firsthand how high altitude hydration levels can affect the body. The cabin air is dry, and the lack of oxygen can lead to fatigue and dehydration. In fact, studies have shown that air pressure in the cabin can be equivalent to that at 8,000 feet above sea level, which can increase the risk of dehydration.

Staying hydrated is crucial for maintaining good health while flying. Drinking water regularly can help prevent dehydration and its associated symptoms, such as headaches, dry skin, and fatigue. It’s also important to avoid alcohol and caffeine, which can have a diuretic effect and further dehydrate the body. Instead, opt for water, herbal tea, or electrolyte solutions to keep your body hydrated.

Keeping My Head in the Clouds: An Airborne Guide to Staying Healthy

Through my journey with the Mythical Monkey, I’ve discovered several ways to stay healthy while flying. First and foremost, drink plenty of water before, during, and after the flight. Bring a reusable water bottle with you and refill it often, or ask for water from the flight attendants.

Another useful tip is to use a moisturizer or hydrating spray to combat dry cabin air. These products can help keep your skin hydrated and prevent dryness and irritation. Breathing exercises, such as deep breathing and using a nasal spray, can also help increase oxygen intake and combat altitude sickness.

Lastly, it’s important to get up and move around during the flight. Sitting in one position for too long can lead to stiff joints and decreased blood flow. Take a walk up and down the aisle, or do some light stretching exercises in your seat to keep your body limber.

High altitude hydration is essential for maintaining good health while flying. With a little preparation and some helpful tips, it’s possible to stay healthy and happy while soaring above the clouds. And if you’re lucky, you might even meet a Mythical Monkey to guide you on your journey. Safe travels!