Grizzly Bear, Drunk Pilot, and A Monkey Take a Trip To Whistler

Whistler Grizzly Bear
Whistler – Photo by Jorge Vasconez on Unsplash

I’m a pilot, and I’ve had a few too many Canadian Clubs. I’m also accompanied by my trusty imaginary monkey, who is always up for an adventure and scared shitless of grizzly bears. Today, we’re headed to the beautiful mountain town of Whistler to go snowboarding in the springtime.

As we fly over the stunning snow-capped peaks, I can feel the excitement building. The monkey is practically bouncing off the walls of the cockpit, chattering away excitedly. We land smoothly at the airport, and soon we’re on our way to the slopes.

The springtime weather in Whistler is perfect for snowboarding – warm sun and soft, slushy snow. It’s also prime conditions for coming across grizzly bears. We hit the runs hard, shredding up and down the mountain with reckless abandon. The monkey is a natural on the board, nailing every trick with ease.

Grizzly Bear

But our fun is almost cut short when we encounter a grizzly bear on the slopes. The monkey springs into action, fearlessly fighting off the beast with a flurry of fists and feet. It’s a tough battle, but in the end, the monkey emerges victorious. We cheer and high-five, grateful to be safe and alive.

But the monkey isn’t done yet – it’s determined to continue the party. So we head to the nearest bar, where the monkey proceeds to fight off a beer, chugging it down in one swift motion. Impressive, to say the least.

As the night wears on, we continue to celebrate our victory over the grizzly bear and the beer. It’s been a wild and crazy day, but it’s one that we’ll never forget.

As the sobering light of dawn touches our faces, we begin to feel the effects of our excess. Headaches and dry mouths plague us, and we all silently vow to never drink that much again.

Despite the hangovers, we can’t help but smile at the memories we’ve made. It was a day we’ll never forget – facing down a grizzly bear and emerging victorious, then celebrating with too much beer. It’s not a story we’ll be able to tell just anyone, but it’s one we’ll treasure for the rest of our lives.

Until next time…

Pilot Friend: Imagine Your Friend Drunk Pilot

Pilot Friend
Pilot Friend – Photo by Karol Kasanicky on Unsplash

Monkey Friend Monologue

“I can’t believe my pilot friend is at it again, stumbling around and barely able to keep upright. Every time he has a few drinks, he thinks he’s invincible and ends up making a complete fool of himself.

But you know what they say – monkeys always land on their feet. Unfortunately, my pilot friend doesn’t seem to have that same ability. Every time he tries to make his way to the bathroom, he ends up crashing into walls and knocking over furniture.

I’ve tried to intervene and help him, but he just waves me off and insists he’s fine. But he’s not fine – he’s drunk, and he needs to sober up before he hurts himself or someone else.

I know he likes to have a good time, and I’m all for letting loose every now and then. But there’s a limit, and he needs to learn to control himself.

I just hope he realizes that before it’s too late. Until then, I’ll be here to catch him when he falls and make sure he doesn’t do any permanent damage.”

Pilot Friend Monologue

“Ah, that darn monkey of mine! Always worrying about me and my drinking habits. I mean, I’m a grown man and I can take care of myself.

Sure, I may be a bit tipsy right now, but I can still stand up when I need to go to the bathroom. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to fall or anything.

I’ve been drinking for years and I know how to handle myself. I don’t need some imaginary monkey of mine hovering over me, worrying that I can’t do something as simple as stand up and walk to the bathroom.

As a pilot friend of mine once said, with the right balance of caution and confidence, you can keep enjoying your drinks without having to worry about the consequences.

I can handle myself and I don’t need to be coddled like a baby. That’s just the way I am, and I’m sure any other pilot friend of mine would feel the same way.”

New Year 2023: Flying High With Hallucinations

Monkey Hallucination New Year 2023
DALL·E 2

As the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2022, I made a vow to myself: this would be the year that I finally put an end to my monkey hallucinations while flying my plane. It had been a tough year, to say the least. There were several close calls and a couple of emergency landings that were all caused by my monkey distractions. It is time for a change in New Year 2023.

2022: I definitely have some issues

Tackling this problem wasn’t easy, but I was determined to do whatever it took. I started by seeking help from a therapist, who prescribed me a medication to help regulate my brain chemistry. It wasn’t a quick fix, but over time, I began to notice a difference in my mental clarity while in the cockpit.

I also made a conscious effort to take better care of myself overall. I started exercising regularly and eating a healthier diet, which helped to improve my overall physical and mental well-being. And when the urge to hallucinate about monkeys would strike, I found that taking deep breaths and focusing on the present moment helped to bring me back to reality. Let’s hope New Year 2023 I can banish the monkey for good.

As the months went by, my flying improved significantly. My colleagues and passengers noticed the difference, and I received several compliments on my newfound focus and professionalism. I was finally able to fully immerse myself in the task at hand and give my undivided attention to the safety and comfort of those on board.

But the real test came when I was faced with a particularly difficult flight. The weather was turbulent and the conditions were less than ideal, but I remained calm and focused thanks to the techniques I had learned and practiced over the past year. When we landed safely at our destination, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Looking back on 2022, I can honestly say that it was a transformative year for me. I may have had a rocky start, but I ended the year as a more confident and competent pilot. And as I prepare to welcome New Year 2023, I’m excited to see what new challenges and opportunities the future holds.

New Year 2023: Onwards and upwards

It seems that not much has changed since I made my New Year 2022’s resolution to stop hallucinating about monkeys while flying. Despite my efforts to seek help from a therapist and take care of myself physically and mentally, the monkeys just won’t go away.

But rather than letting this disappointment defeat me, I’ve decided to turn to blogging as a way to find inner peace and share my wildest thoughts with the world. I’ve always enjoyed writing, and I believe that sharing my experiences and struggles can help me make sense of them and potentially even help others who may be going through similar struggles.

I know that my journey to overcome my monkey hallucinations and improve my overall well-being won’t be easy, but I’m determined to keep working towards my goals for this New Year 2023. And by documenting my progress and thoughts on my blog, I hope to not only help myself, but also inspire and connect with others who may be struggling with their own challenges. Here’s to a new year, a new beginning, and a new outlet for self-discovery and growth.

And here we go again… another drunk start

As I sit here, typing this final entry for the year, I can’t help but feel a little bit drunk. And to top it off, the monkey is back, licking my feet clean as I sit at my desk. I suppose this is just another reminder that my journey towards inner peace and monkey-free flying is far from over.

But rather than letting this bring me down, I choose to embrace the craziness of it all and send my best wishes to all of you for a happy and healthy new year. Here’s to hoping that New Year 2023 brings us all the joy, growth, and monkey-free moments that we deserve. Cheers!