January 2023

A Transitioning Weevil On A Mission To Colonise Mars

January 13, 2023 by Drunk Pilot

Once upon a time, in a small garden on Earth, there lived a little transitioning weevil named Wally. Wally was a curious and adventurous little bug, always eager to explore new places and make new friends.

Wally heard about a grand mission to colonize Mars and immediately determined to be a part of it. He spent all of his days studying rocket science, learning about the Red Planet, and practicing his space-walking skills.

After much anticipation, the day of the mission arrived and Wally was selected as one of the first transitioning weevils to set foot on the Martian surface. As he suited up and prepared for liftoff, Wally couldn’t contain his excitement.

“This is it, the moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life!” he exclaimed. I can’t wait to explore the surface of Mars and make it my new home!

Blast Off!

As the rocket soared through the atmosphere and into the vast expanse of space, Wally couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty of the cosmos. Awe and wonder filled him as he realized that this was just the beginning of his grand adventure as a transitioning weevil.

As the rocket approached Mars, Wally’s excitement reached new heights. He could hardly contain himself as he prepared to step out of the airlock and onto the Martian surface.

“I can’t believe it, I’m really here!” he exclaimed as he took his first steps on the rocky surface of the Red Planet.

Wally spent the next few days exploring the rugged terrain. He took samples of the soil and rocks, and made friends with the other transitioning weevils who had come along on the mission. Having the time of his life, he knew that this was just the beginning. He knew that this was just the beginning of a new era for weevilkind.

Transitioning Weevil out from Mars

As the mission came to a close and it was time to return to Earth, Wally couldn’t help but feel a little bit sad. He had fallen in love with Mars and the idea of colonizing it. He knew that he would always cherish the memories of his time there.

But he also knew that there would always be more adventures waiting for him. He couldn’t wait to see what the future held. With a heavy heart, Wally said goodbye to Mars. He prepared to make the journey back home, eager to share his experiences with all of his transitioning weevil friends.

A Hangover to Remember: The (Not So) Typical Morning of a NY Captain

January 11, 2023January 9, 2023 by Drunk Pilot

It was a typical weekday morning in New York City, and I was already feeling the effects of last night’s drinking – a hangover to remember. As I stumbled through the airport, my bushy eyebrows practically hiding my bloodshot eyes, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread wash over me. I was the captain of a flight to Miami, and I knew I shouldn’t be flying in my condition.

But I didn’t have a choice. I was already late, and the plane was about to take off. So, I summoned up the courage to climb aboard and do my job. As we lifted off the ground, I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head. But it was no use. The alcohol was coursing through my veins, making it impossible for me to concentrate – a hangover to remember.

Thankfully, the flight was uneventful. The passengers seemed to sense that something was off about me, and they kept their distance. Even the stewardesses seemed to avoid me, as if they knew that I was a ticking time bomb – a hangover to remember.

And Then There Was A Twinkle

But one stewardess in particular caught my eye. She was a stunning woman with long, flowing hair and piercing blue eyes. I couldn’t help but stare at her as she walked up and down the aisle, serving drinks and snacks.

As the flight came to a close, I knew I had to make a move. So, I summoned up the courage to ask her out for a drink. To my surprise, she accepted, and we ended up hitting it off over cocktails at the airport bar – a hangover to remember.

But the night didn’t stop there. The stewardess, whose name was Anna, had a husband who was also on the flight. And as it turned out, he was just as adventurous as she was. So, we all ended up going back to my place, where we watched me shower (through a foggy shower door) and then spent the rest of the night exploring each other’s bodies.

As the sun rose on the horizon, I knew that I had made a mistake. I was a married man, and I had cheated on my wife with not one, but two people. I knew that I had to confess to my wife and try to make things right, but I also couldn’t stop thinking about Anna and her husband – a hangover to remember.

It Got Weird

But things took a weird and warped twist when I found out that Anna and her husband were actually aliens from another planet, disguised as humans. They had been studying human behavior and had chosen me as the subject of their experiment.

I was shocked and confused, but Anna and her husband assured me that they meant me no harm. They just wanted to understand the complexities of human emotions and relationships – a hangover to remember.

In the end, I decided to go along with their experiment, and we spent the next few months exploring each other’s worlds and cultures. It was an eye-opening and mind-expanding experience, and I knew that I had been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

A Hangover to Remember: Back to Reality

But as much as I enjoyed my time with Anna and her husband, I knew that I had to return to my own life and deal with the consequences of my actions. I had to face my wife and try to repair the damage that I had done – a hangover to remember.

It wasn’t easy, but with the help of Anna and her husband, I was able to work through my issues and eventually make amends with my wife. We were able to move past the affair and rebuild our relationship, stronger than ever before.

And as for Anna and her husband, we remained friends and kept in touch, but I knew that our time together had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience that I would never forget.

A Drunk Pilot Whispers in the Wind

July 23, 2023January 8, 2023 by Drunk Pilot

A Drunk Pilot Whispers in the Wind

My head spins round and round on high
As I command this drunken flight
But once, long ago, I too would sigh
At rainbows in the sky’s delight

Yet now I am a pilot, inebriated
No longer just a dreaming youth
My life is filled with joys that are debated
As I soar through the clouds, uncouth

But even as I stumble through the air
I cannot help but feel a sense of cheer
For though I am a man now, impaired
The child in me is still very near

So let me fly, despite my state
For in this moment, I am free
And when I grow old, let me relate
The tales of my wild youth, with glee

Drunk Pilot.

–

Inspired by William Wadsworth as published on dancingalone530.com

–

Drunk Pilot’s Monkey Friend

“I, a highly evolved monkey, have the pleasure of joining the pilot on more than one of his wild flights. Despite his inebriated state, he soars through the clouds with grace and a sense of childlike wonder. I was thoroughly entertained by his tales of youth and freedom, and couldn’t help but feel a sense of cheer as I swung from the cockpit’s rafters. The drunk pilot is a skilled and humorous pilot and provides a thrilling and unforgettable experience.

I highly recommend a ride with this talented individual. The drunk pilot’s antics kept me on the edge of my seat as he expertly navigated through the air. His laughter filled the cockpit and I couldn’t help but join in. The freedom and joy that the pilot exuded was contagious and I was grateful to have the opportunity to fly with him. I will never forget the wild ride with the drunk pilot and would eagerly hop on another flight with him in a heartbeat.”